Unburdened

For two years, I wrote about food and history and what memory each dish brought back to me.  Then suddenly, I just stopped.  No words, no pictures, no recipes.

I had also written about yoga, my practice, my journey to teacher training, and everything in between.  And similarly, it all stopped.  I didn’t really know why, but I knew what I put out wasn’t from the heart.  I wasn’t giving my best.  Not to those who read my blog, not to myself.  So I bid adieu, packed up my ideas, and put away the key.

Months went by where I would encounter something interesting or think of an exciting recipe, but I didn’t dare go back.  Not even once.  I realized soon after that I’ve outgrown that part of myself.

And so a new chapter began, though unwelcomed at the time. I had become less creative, impassioned if you must, in other areas of my life.  My yoga practice teetered between the highs and lows, eventually coming to a standstill that was neither inspiring nor challenging.

As a student, I was always looking forward to what breakthroughs I would reach.  As a teacher, I felt stuck on my mat.  Each time I finished practicing in class, I felt incomplete.  Insatiated.  I didn’t know what to do.

So I began to retreat inwards and began stripping away all the things I thought could be in the way.  I practiced less.  I distanced myself from the yoga.  I didn’t push hard or practiced advanced classes.  I was starting from scratch.

It was back to the basics.  Keeping it simple.  When in doubt, go back to the beginning.

And it was quiet.

Peaceful.

Slowly but surely, the growing pains began to ease.  I carefully stepped back into the mat without the burdens I carried with me.  And I thought I owed it to myself to do the same with my writing.  So this blog, this new, fresh and empty space, is my attempt to get back to the basics.  To write and write only, as raw and as honest as I could.  No dressings, no costumes, no poetry.  No elaborate trips to memory lane or diggings of the past.

I don’t really know what I would use this space for.  But I suppose I don’t have to figure that out just quite yet.  I suppose I can take it one day, one post at a time.

And to those who welcomed my writing back warmly, thank you.  It’s always nice to know I have a home here.

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