In the middle of packing my yoga bag, I can feel my eyebrows furrowing deeper. I really, really didn’t want to go to class. My bed was so much more comforting and it didn’t smell like sweaty feet.
But I knew this was exactly why I needed to go, why I signed up for a Bikram yoga 30-day challenge with a fellow teacher, Miss Nicola all the way from the UK, and other yogis worldwide. **
For those who don’t know, a 30-day challenge is what it is – 30 days of yoga, consecutively. People do it for many different reasons, of course. But it is what it is, a challenge. A month of sweat, laundry, and working your body from fingertips to your toes. It’s as physical as it is mental and emotional. If possible, done with a smiling happy face, as per our yoga teachers.
Unfortunately, smiling happy face is not how I would describe my last 13 days (I’m on Day 13, in case you were wondering). I’m not usually the type to wear her grumps on her sleeve, but this challenge is unlike any that I’ve done happily in the past.
So why am I doing it? Well, It’s been harder and harder to get to class lately, and I’ve manage to skate by with the bare minimum. It’s easy to blame the nice weather outside or a hangover or lack of hydration because it’s less painful to admit that it’s just became too hard to be on that mat. I’ve been weaker too, frustrated with my loss of strength. No doubt a product of my absence.
The solution? Throw myself in full force, allowing for no options, no choice. I can still kick and scream and pout. I just had to do it on my mat with those mirrors in front of me. Strong doesn’t happen from the outside looking in.
I don’t exactly know why the grumps, and frankly, I’ve been…too grumpy to bother to figure out why. Introspection aside, I continue to show up, even in the grumpiest of days. No choice.
All I can do is accept that this is what I need.
‘You don’t always get what you want, but you’ll always get what you need.’
**If you’re interested in connecting with fellow challengers from all over, we are using the Twitter hashtag #Sept30DC.